I, like everyone, was incredibly nervous to find out my A level results yesterday. The university I wanted to go to; Queen Mary University of London expected me to get AAB. On the morning of yesterday, at around 7:30am I logged onto UCAS track and saw that my place to study English at Queen Mary had been confirmed. I was ecstatic. My boyfriend then found out that he also had a confirmed place at the university. We were both blissful as we had been given exactly what we wanted.
Naturally, as I had achieved my place, I assumed I had achieved the required grades AAB-ABB. This making the car journey to college to pick up my results pretty pleasant.
I opened the envelope. BBC.
I couldn’t believe it. Did this mean I still had my place? I needed an A in literature, how can I get in if I have a C? How did I get so much lower than my predicted grades? How? How? How?
My university place was already confirmed and the conditions on track had changed to ‘unconditional’. Rather than celebrating this fact, I moped around over my lack of A grades. But before you bite my head off for being ungrateful I’ll tell you that I don’t feel like that anymore. But I did. I worked so hard, I don’t know how I could have worked harder. It seemed like I was on track for A’s. My predicted grades were AAB. How did I get into a university that required AAB-ABB? How? Did I interview well? Was it my personal statement that pulled me through? Was I close to boundaries of the next grade above? I may never know.
I began to feel very negative towards my results and felt that I was becoming a downer on a day that should be of celebration (it was the end of A levels after all). I tried to think rationally about the situation. If I HAD got the ABB, I would have wanted AAB. If I had got AAB, I would have wanted AAA. If I’d have got AAA, I would have wanted A*AA. I am never satisfied with the things I achieve. The grass is always greener on the other side.
I’ve realised that I should appreciate and congratulate myself. BBC are very good grades and I am proud of myself for achieving them. I’m going to a Russell Group university, with my boyfriend, in my favourite city to study my favourite subject. What is there to complain about? Nothing.
Just because you don’t meet expectations doesn’t mean you’re a disappointment.